A Paradox

So, I was watching "American Idol" tonight and was extremely touched by what I saw. I'm sure most of you are pretty jaded by that show. I mean they do exploit those poor people who clearly have no talent and the judges arguing constantly does start to grate on you. But despite all of that, I love the show. At the end of the day, there is definitely talented people out there....but beyond that, it's the stories that Idol highlights; stories that portray the human spirit in the best way possible. Yes, on American Idol.

Tonight, they showcased a young man whose dream has always been to sing. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was part of a band until he had to give it all up. His mom was recently diagnosed with a seizure disorder, and as you can imagine, it's changed her life forever. It requires that she receive constant care, which the son has committed to giving to her. Is that unbelievable? It may seem obvious.....wouldn't we all do the same? But think about it for a second. What the son has chosen to do is to give up his life, his dreams...to care for the person who brought him into this world. They interviewed the mom, who of course, was in tears when they asked about her son. She was so excited that he was trying out for Idol; to know that he was finally going to be able to chase his dream, which he so lovingly put off because he loved his mom more. It was touching; his sacrifice. So, fast forward to the audition. He is REALLY talented and he's moving on to the next part of the competition. You can't help but cheer him onto stardom, and here's the best part. When asked why he wanted to win he said, "I just want to be able to help my mom lead a comfortable life and give her everything she needs." WOW!!

Now, here's the paradox:
After watching that show, I flipped the channel and the news happened to be on. Unfortunately, they were talking about a teacher who was murdered in her own home. It caught my eye because according to the map, this happened no more than 5 miles from my house. She taught at a Catholic school nearby. When they showed her picture, you couldn't help but think about what kind of person would do something like that to such an innocent woman. You know who it was? Her own son!! He even admitted to the police that he had planned on burying her body in the backyard. I switched the channel; I was so disgusted!

So, tell me this.....what's the logic in seeing one son who was so selfless, and one son who was so selfish. What made the difference? Nature? Nurture? I don't get it. It was interesting, too, that in a matter of minutes, I went from having my heart touched to having my heart broken.

Have you ever stopped to think about that? You know, the paradox of life. From the complex to the simple; it's everywhere around us. People who want to have kids, but can't; people who shouldn't have kids, but do. People who are born wealthy, but are not grateful; people who have little, but are so thankful. People who are born healthy, but choose to destory their life; people who are born with a rare illness, but choose to live their life.

Now, here's another paradox. How is it possible that in my lifetime, I am actually witnessing my U of A Wildcats, rated as underdogs, playing in our own house, against a ranked ASU team?? Now, where is the logic in that!?!?!?!?!?!?

It Matters and Mission #2

What you say and what you do and how you treat people; it matters to someone else
And if you're lucky enough, that "someone else" will go up to you or write you a note to say, "Thank you."
It's not that you act a certain way to get a thank you, but it's nice to hear
And that's when you realize, it matters
In your quest to be a better person, you enrich someone else's life....
You walk away with a feeling of deep satisfaction
Because when all is said and done, it's about having a kind heart and making someone else feel like they matter
And I guess in life, that's all that really matters

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So, here's mission #2: What matters to orphans? Or battered women? Or lonely seniors? What matters most to people who don't have a home? What matters to a single parent? What matters to kids who can't read or write? Find out......and then do something that matters to them!

Abundantly Blessed and Mission #1

As a parent, you always want the best for your kids, and sometimes, all you can do is pray that you are doing the right thing for them every step of the way. As a mom, I think it goes even deeper than than. It's an amazing thing, really. Knowing that you carried life inside of you; being able to nourish that child with your body...it's a gift that I'm so humbled by.

The other day, I was able to stop and really appreciate my role as a parent, and more importantly, my ability to provide for my children. Nothing extraordinary happened. In fact, the things that got me thinking about all of this were things that I do everyday. Like covering the girls back up when they've kicked off their blankets. Sitting around the dinner table, excited at the fact they are finally learning to love vegetables! Folding their clothes, trying not to go crazy with all the socks that are missing their matches. Watching them run around the house and telling them to stop jumping on the couch for a millionth time. Giving them baths and wrapping them up in their towels. Kneeling by their beds to kiss them goodnight. It's all such a blessing!!

But having all of this makes my heart ache for moms and dads around the world who are not as lucky as me. I don't know what it feels like to not be able to keep your children warm at night. I am devastated at the thought that some parents have to look at their kids and tell them that they won't be eating again tonight. I feel for the parents who are struggling to just keep a roof over their children's heads, let alone giving them a place where their kids can play and laugh. And I know that there are parents out there who work so much that at the end of the day, they can barely muster up enough energy to hug and kiss their kids.

I feel so ridiculous! I mean how many times have I complained about not having enough? Always wanting something bigger, better, and newer. When in reality, I've been abundantly blessed! Tonight, as I was making dinner, Bella kept asking when we were going to eat because her tummy was grumbling. I sent up a prayer right away because at that moment, I knew that my child was going to be sitting down to a hot meal, while millions of children's tummies would still be grumbling.

So, here's Mission #1 for all of us. What if we could donate a blanket or two to a shelter so that a child can be warm tonight? What if we looked in our pantries and donated to a local food bank so that a family can share a meal together? What if we packed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in our cars and handed them out to that mother and child who are out on the streets today? What if.......

"When one person

Is thoughtful to another,

The thoughtfulness

Gets carried on and on.

It is like a great river of kindness,

Once blocked by rocks,

That is suddenly opened

By a single person's

Kind thought or act..."

Excerpt from "Flowing Thoughtfulness"

by Mattie J.T. Stepanek, in "Loving Through Heartsongs", 2003

Mattie's Motto

Happy 2009, everyone! By now, I'm sure we have already broken one of our New Year's resolutions, right? I know I did....I broke down and bought a Starbucks, justifying it with the fact that it might make my headache go away, and therefore, cure me of my cold. In reality, I just wanted a caramel machiatto, and it was delicious even with the guilt added on!!!

The good news is I bought Mattie's book, "Reflections of a Peacemaker". For those of you who have vowed to read more this year, please add this to your list!! Bella asked me who the little boy on the cover was when I was reading and I told her that it was our friend, Mattie. We then proceeded to have a conversation about who he was and why he had to go to heaven. I explained to her that God needed help, so He asked Mattie to be in heaven with Him...she seemed satisfied with that response, but she wanted to know why he had to be sick. I, of course, don't have an answer to that.

So, getting back to broken resolutions, I have one for all of us that I think we can keep. No, we don't have to lose wight. Or exercise more. Or eat healthier. Are you ready for this? It's simply living 2009 with Mattie's motto in mind:

"Think gently, speak gently, live gently"

Incredible words from a little boy. I started doing this on the first day of the year. And it's not that easy, but is an incredible feeling. Try it and you'll see what I mean! Gentle thoughts; gentle words; gentle actions. Everything gentle for just a day, then two, and then three.....can you imagine living a whole year this way?

My Heartsong

I suppose that most people, whom we've all come to admire, didn't start out thinking they would inspire millions. Maybe that's what makes them special. They were or are just ordinary people, living their lives. That's certainly what Mattie Stepanek did. He lived his life, all 14 years of it, in a manner that few of us can ever hope to do.

Mattie's story is one of hope and faith. Of courage and love. And above all, of peace. He is one of the reasons I created this blog; to share his story with you. His hope, his faith, his courage, his love, and his message of peace.

The second reason for this blog is because of my two little girls. For those of you who are parents, you know what it's like to love your children. It's a feeling that is intense, yet indesrcibable at the same time. Being a parent is a huge responsibility that goes beyond making sure they are fed and bathed and clothed. It's about teaching them to love, to show compassion, to care, to be merciful, to forgive --with no boundaries--and to give back to the world in a way that God would someday welcome them into heaven and say to them, "Well done, good and faithful one." This is my wish and my prayer as a parent; to raise these girls this way.

This is what Mattie would call my "heartsong". In fact, each of us has been blessed with this. It's what stirs within our hearts; almost as a mission or our purpose on this Earth. Some day, Mattie hoped to envision the world; its people; its "heartsongs" united for a common purpose--peace and love. It seems so simple, doesn't it?

Before marriage and children, it seemed that I had my own dreams and thoughts about making a difference in this world. But as I got busy, as life got busy, I forgot all about it....until I walked into a Barnes and Noble two days ago and Mattie's book, "Reflections of a Peacemaker", caught my eye. I sat down to read a few of his poems and that was it. My heartsong was awakened.

I may never influence people like a Mother Theresa or a Martin Luther King, Jr. or a Mattie Stepanek, but there are two little girls who I can and SHOULD influence. Two little girls who look to me as their example; their mirror of who they can become. And so, it is my mission, my song, to be the kind of person I hope my girls will grow up to be. A person of hope and faith. Of courage and love. And above all, of peace.

So, I invite all of you to join me, to help me, to pray for me in carrying this message on. Whether it's to your children, your families, your community, your workplace; wouldn't you agree that we can make a difference, even in the slightest way, with our "heartsongs"? I would love for you to share your stories with me as you discover your special mission; your purpose, and in the meantime, I will learn more about our friend, Mattie, and his mission, and what we can do to carry on his legacy.

Prayer for a Journey

Thank You, God,Not just for life,But for our journey through life. Life is a miracle,and a journey through life is so full of so many more miracles if we travel with our Heartsongs.Thank You, God,for blessing me with the Gift of Heartsongs,So that I can enjoy my miracles.

April, 1998© Matthew Joseph Thaddeus StepanekUsed with permission from Journey Through Heartsongs, Hyperion, 2002

"Well done, good and faithful one."